Profiles in embarrassment: Part I

In an attempt to be a bigger jackass than I already am, and to highlight the embarrassment that the Republican Party has become (the Democrats have become an embarrassment long ago, they have been lambasted enough), I have decided to run a regular piece called "Profiles in embarrassment", wherein so-called "conservatives" and Republicans get their come-uppance for stupid stuff they say or do that completely violate what we used to stand for.

First in the dock: Phyllis Schlafly! Come on down!

For those of you who don't know Phyllis, she's the "family crusader" who made a big-time name for herself opposing the Equal Rights Amendment. When she's not cheerleading for anything and everything our God-picked President has done (I mean, he's BORN AGAIN, what else can you say?), she's encouraging Leviathan and Theocracy at every turn.

Phyllis gives Leviathan all the strength it needs when she thinks that Congress should use federal money to tell universities what they can and cannot do. Hey, Phyllis, how about an amendment that says that NO taxes go to universities? But that would be too much of a thought exercise for our idiot cheerleader; she'll do anything to get her personal and cultural views implanted across American, include change the Constitution for something as meaningless as who marries who.

And you'll never meet a hardworking, decent, peaceful Mexican that Schlafly hasn't tried to send on the first train out of here. Sure, if people just want to come here to work, Phyllis, why not put tanks on the borders, despite the fact that violates the Posse Comitatus Act. But, hey, that browning of America, that's a dangerous thing, right? I am sure that our Founding Fathers would love the militarized borders and forced religious practices you'd like to see.

Schlafly also thinks that basic scientific principles should be put up to a vote. She seizes on the work of hack scientists that criticize evolution and upholds it as the Gospel truth. This theocrat will seize on anything to uphold her worldview, despite overwhelming scientific evidence against it. Of course, critics of evolution rightly point out that it's only a theory, but then again, so is gravity. Hold on to that patch of ground! One day, Phyllis and the Creationists will hopefully stand tall in the history books with trepenologists, chiropractors and the Flat Earth Society.

Seriously, read some of the Scary Woman's Columns. If you can go one column without her talking about clamping down on this, ending the rights on that, instituting the will of the Lord our Father there, stamping out speech here, then you win a lifetime supply of AquaNet, proudly used by Phyllis herself and most certainly made by those terrible brown people here to ruin America, what with their strict religious values and hardworking attitudes.